Leo's alphabet

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This was written by Lord Leopold Mounbatten, second son of Princess Beatrice, Queen Victoria's youngest child, and Prince Henry of Battenberg.



A stands for Arthur a prince without grit.
Some say he is a hero. We know he is a shit.
(Prince Arthur of Connaught)

B stands for Beatrice the Queen of the Wight
Whose passion for church is the parson's delight.
(Princess Beatrice, youngest daughter of Victoria)

C stands for Christian, now departed from this life.
He was foul to his children & rude to his wife.
(Princess Christian of Schleswig-Holstein, husband of Princess Helena)

D stands for Drino whose piles gave him hell.
He's now got a wife who has them as well.
(The Marquess of Carisbrooke)

E stands for Ena, the fair Queen of Spain.
Her offspring is legion. It's a wonder she's sane.


F stands for Family. The Royal one I mean
They can't be explained -- They've got to be seen.

G stands for George, a King without charm.
His manners offensive, but don't do much harm.
(King George V)

H stands for Helen, a Duchess of Rank.
Her shape is immense and resembles a tank.
(Duchess of Albany)

I stands for Irene of indefinite tact.
She gets on with her "in-laws" - strange -- but a fact.
(Marchioness of Carisbrooke)

J stands for Jealousy - mean petty trait.
which obscures the Royal Family's sense of fair play.

K stands for Knollys, an old sister and brother,
who for hundreds of years have been with the Queen Mother.
(Charlotte Knollys and her brother, close to Queen Alexandra)

L stands for Louie, and also Louise.
They're both mad and dirty, damned hard to please.
(Princess Marie Louise of Schleswig-Holstein and the Duchess of Argyll)

M stands for Mary, who's never been seen
to have any fun, except drive with the Queen.
(Princess Mary, daughter of King George V)

N stands for Nada, of Russian extraction.
She married Medina, to her great satisfaction.
(Countess Nada Torby married to the Earl of Medina, ne Prince George of Battenberg)

O stands for Osborne, a summer resort.
Where the family yacht-raced, learnt swimming and fought.

P stands for Patsy who's married at last,
and has shed the Royal Rank she had in the past.
(Princess Patricia of Connaught)

Q stands for the Queen, whose life is well known.
To consist of kind actions, and patience at home.
(Queen Mary)

R stands for Royal, the Princess of that name,
Who is yellow and thin, whose talk is insane.
(Princess Royal -- Princess Louise).

S stands for Schomberg, the house which conceals
a permanent grievance with dramas at meals.
(Residence of Princess Helena Victoria and Princess Marie Louise)

T stands for Thora, the only princess
Who is loved by us all and a downright success.
(Princess Helena Victoria)

U stands for Uncle and Arthur is his name,
He's now a bit gaga, but kind all the same.
(Prince Arthur, Duke of Connaught)

V stands for Victoria - a cat beyond measure
To whom scandals and lies are a positive pleasure.
(Princess Victoria, sister of George V)

W stands for Windsor, the new Family name.
They think it sounds English, but they're Huns all the same.